Intentionally Still

I cling to the words we exchanged
when I know I cannot offer more
when I can’t hear your voice
or follow the endearing scramble of your 
thoughts
meant to help me understand you better.
You ebb and flow - 
not from of a lack of desire,
but because of it.
I sense the rush of emotions flooding your
body
as the tingling begins and continues 
in mine.
We cannot be unaffected
by this energy that just won’t quit,
carrying us towards each other
while we resist.
Why do we resist?
For fear of breaking a heart
while ours burst open.
There is a conflict that seems unsolvable
by anything other than silence,
but how do we stay silent
when all we can think of is each other?
We pause
and hope time will transform this desire
into a memory
until another word falls onto a screen
and the showers begin again.
And we know we cannot
keep this up
when words lead to another wave of
slow moving images of your smiling face
mirroring mine;
a river of tenderness from afar
that smooths all the rough edges
of our separate lives.
We cannot stop this
but we try.
Oh, do we try!
And when darkness comes,
it is you who is there,
holding me close
even when you’re not,
even if you never will.
And I send you all my love
while wishing you the very best life
without me,
again
and again
for as long as it takes,
until there is nothing left to resist.
Ahh, the sweet surrender.