The Shape Shifter

I am aware
Of my emotions hanging on your every word
Every glance you send 
Or don’t send in my direction 
Of every move your body makes in space
That my body also occupies
I am aware of my heart thumping 
When you stand just close enough 
That I can smell your clothes
They smell like rain 
I am aware 
Of how impossible “us” is
And how small I get 
When I think I missed half a lifetime 
Waiting for you
And I think of all the ways I could love you
Were it not for 5,000 miles 
And two lifetimes between us
I am aware 
That you might never wrap your arms 
Around me in quite the same way 
As I imagine
Love is an eternal shape shifter 
And I am aware that
Like a freckle on your face 
I am undeniably there
As scenery
So, I write and wait for another bout 
Of nervous excitement and divine surrender 
Cloaked in clothes
That smell like rain.